by Brad Whitt

How to Grow Old Gracefully
Brad Whitt
2 Samuel 17:27-29, 19:31-38

INTRO: I want you to take your Bibles now tonight, and I want you to be finding your place at 2nd Samuel 17 if you will. 2nd Samuel 17, and we are going to be reading several verses from two passages this evening. And I want to talk to you for a few minutes about a man by the name of Bazillai, the Gileadite, as I share with you a message entitled "How To Grow Old Gracefully." How to grow old gracefully.

ILLUS: God, Grant me the senility
To forget the people
I never liked anyway,
The good fortune
To run into the ones I do,
And the eyesight
To tell the difference.

ILLUS: "You know you're getting older when: Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work. The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals. You feel like the morning after, and you haven't been anywhere. Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D. Your knees buckle, and your belt won't.

You get winded playing cards. Your children begin to look middle-aged. You join a health club and don't go. You decide to procrastinate, but never get around to it.

Your mind makes contracts your body can't meet. You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions. You look forward to a dull evening at home. You're turning out lights for economic rather than romantic reasons.

Your favorite part of the newspaper is "Twenty-Five Years Ago Today."

You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.

You're 17" around the neck, 42" around the waist, and 106 around the golf course. Your pacemaker makes the garage door go up when you see a pretty girl.
The best part of your day is over when the alarm goes off. Your back goes out more than you do. A fortune-teller offers to read your face. The little gray-haired lady you help across the street is your wife. You've got too much room in the house and not enough room in the medicine cabinet. You sink your teeth in a steak, and they stay the ...

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