This content is part of a series.
Complete in Him! (15 of 16)
Simple Instructions for Difficult Times!
1. The story is told of the big lumberjack who bought a brand new chainsaw and was told it could cut down at least 100 trees a day. But on the first day he only managed to cut down 25 trees. The next day he tried harder and finally cut down 33 trees. The third day he started early, worked late, and even cut his lunch break short, but he still managed to cut down only 48 trees.
2. He went back to the store and confronted the manager with his complaint. He told him of his efforts and of the results. The manager couldn't quite understand what had gone wrong, so he asked to take a look. He grabbed the starter rope and pulled hard, and the motor started with a roar. The lumberjack jumped back in alarm and yelled, "Hey, what's dat big noise?"
3. There'd been a long dry season, and there wasn't enough hay to keep the cows fed, so a man named Gunister, and one of his friends, decided to go into the hay merchandising business. They got a truck and drove to another state, where they bought hay for $3 a bale. Then they brought it home and sold it for $2.50 a bale.
4. After a few weeks in the business, Gunister's friend said, "You know, there must be something wrong. We're just not makin' any money." "I know," replied Gunister. "Maybe we ought to get a bigger truck."
5. Finally, I recently read of three contestants in a TV quiz show who were down to the last question of the final round. The emcee said, "Come up with the missing word at the end of the phrase and spell it correctly, and you'll win our grand-prize trip to Europe. Are you ready? The phrase is, 'Old MacDonald had a ____.' And remember, you must spell the missing word."
6. The first contestant proposed, "Old MacDonald had a house-- h-o-u-s-e." The audience groaned. The second contestant tried, "Old MacDonald had a ranch--r-a-n-c-h." More audience groaning. The third contestant got up and ...
There are 18852 characters in the full content. This excerpt only shows a 2000 character sample of the full content.