by Ken Trivette

Old Age As It Should Be
Ken Trivette
Psalm 92:14

1. Someone has said that you know you're getting older when
* Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.
* The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals.
* You feel like the morning after, and you haven't been anywhere.
* Your little black hook contains only names ending in M.D.
* You get winded playing chess.
* Your mind makes contracts your body can't meet.
* You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.
* You look forward to a dull evening at home.
* You're turning out the lights for economic reasons rather than romantic.
* Your knees buckle and your belt won't.
* The best part of your day is over when the alarm goes off.
* Your back goes out more than you do.
* The best part of your day is over when the alarm goes off.
* You've got too much room in the house and not enough room in the medicine cabinet.
* You burn the midnight oil after 9.00 P.M.
* Dialing long distance wears you out.
* You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.

2. Another has described old folks as being worth a fortune. "Old Folks are worth a fortune. With silver in their hair, gold in their teeth, stones in their kidneys, lead in their feet and gas in their stomachs."

3. Someone in their old age said, "I have become a lot more social with the passing of years; some might even call me a frivolous old gal. I'm seeing five gentlemen as soon as I wake. Will Power helps me get out of bed. Then I go see John. Then Charley Horse comes along and when he is here he takes a lot of my time and attention. When he leaves, Arthur Ritis shows up and stays the rest of the day. He doesn't like to stay in one place very long, so he takes me from joint to joint. After such a busy day, I'm really tired and glad to go to bed with Ben Gay. What a life!"

4. A group of senior citizens at a retirement home were having a high old time discussing their various aches, pains, and ills. One ...

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