by Ron Clarkson

Affair Proof Your Marriage
Ron Clarkson
Recharging Your Marriage
October 31, 1993

Intro: I had a single person come up to me and say, "Ron, marriage is a three ring circus. First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, and then the suffering. Sad, but true, that is the case in many marriages today, but that is not the way God designed marriage to work out. And, ever since God created male and female, each sex has found something fascinating about the other (as we discussed last week as we talked about sexual intimacy.) At its best, this leads to life's greatest joys in experiencing oneness with your mate. But at its worst, the misuse of sex leaves scars and wounds that are deep.

I don't know many people who enter marriage with the intent, "I'm going to have an affair." Research shows that a majority of people in our nation disapprove of extramarital affairs. Yet research also indicates that at least 112 of those married will have at least one affair. Why do people, who apparently have strong convictions against infidelity, have affairs?

1. Commonly, during mid-life crisis men and women desire to recapture their fleeting youth and fleeting masculinity/femininity. This commonly accompanies a sense of stagnation in their own marriage - feelings of discontent.

2. Affairs take place at work often with secretaries, bosses and other employees. Sometimes to fill a void and other times to gain power or control.

3. Some have affairs to "get even". A display of anger towards their spouse who has abused them, neglected them or taken advantage of them.

4. For some there is a yearning for romance - the excitement of the unknown is satisfying.

5. Sometimes sexual deprivation leads some into adulterous relationships. Maybe a passive partner or a lack of interest creates a void or frustration level that prompts one to seek satisfaction somewhere else.

6. Probably the major cause is emotional deprivation. The need for emotional fulfillment and intim ...

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