Sermon Illustrations > Qualifications > Timber


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Quality Presidential Timber - Leaps tall buildings with a single bound. Vice-President Timber - Must take running start to leap over tall buildings. Timber - Can leap only over short buildings or medium buildings with no spires. Deadwood - Crashes into building when attempting to jump over them. Toothpick - Cannot recognize buildings at all, much less jump. Initiative: Presidential Timber - Is stronger than a locomotive. Vice-President Timber - Is stronger than a bull elephant. Timber - Is stronger than a bull. Deadwood - Shoots the bull. Toothpick - Smells like a bull. Use of Time: Presidential Timber - Is faster than a speeding bullet. Vice-President Timber - Is as fast as a speeding bullet. Timber - Not quite so fast as a speeding bullet. Deadwood - Would you believe a slow bullet. Toothpick - Wounds self with bullets attempting to shoot gun. Communication: Presidential Timber - Talks with God. Vice-President Timber - Talks with angels. Timber - Talks to himself. Deadwood - Argues with himself. Toothpick - Loses those arguments.