Sermon Illustrations > Marriage > Quotes on Marriage

Quotes on Marriage

Discoveries, Vol. 1, #2.

Quotes One woman to another at the office, "Did you wake up grouchy today?" "No, I just let him sleep in." There is only one thing harder than living alone, and that is to live with another person. - Ingrid Trobisch Love, the quest; marriage, the conquest; divorce, the inquest. - Helen Rowland. Marriage is neither heaven nor hell; it is simply purgatory. - A. Lincoln There are two kinds of people at parties&md;those who want to go home early and those who want to be the last ones in the place. The trouble is that they're usually married to each other. Parson's Rule: At whatever stage you apologize to your spouse, the reply is constant: "It's too late now." A good marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham Marriage should be a duet&md;when one sings, the other claps. - Joe Murray, Cox News Service Before you marry, keep your two eyes open; after you marry, shut one. - Jamaican proverb The German poet Heinrich Heine bequeathed his entire estate to his widow on the condition she remarry&md;"So at least one other man will regret my death." Even if marriages are made in heaven, man has to be responsible for the maintenance. - John Graham in Alma, GA, Times Don't buy the house; buy the neighbor. - Russian Proverb (Don't marry the woman [only] but the family.) Marriage is a journey toward an unknown destination&md;the discovery that people must share not only what they don't know about each other, but what they don't know about themselves. - Michael Ventura "An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her," said mystery author Agatha Christie, who was married to one. What is the recipe for honeymoon salad? Lettuce alone without dressing. - The Bell, the Clapper, and the Cord: Wit and Witticism, (Baltimore: National Federation of the Blind, 1994), p. 11. Marriage is when you agree to spend the rest of your life sleeping in a room that's too warm, beside someone who's sleeping in a room that's too cold. - Contributed by E. J. Graff Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning handsprings or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it. - Helen Rowland, quoted by Robert Keeler in The Toastmaster, Reader's Digest, June, 1994, p. 130 Overheard: "Marriage is nature's way of keeping people from fighting with strangers." - Alan King In colonial days, a Boston sea captain named Kemble was sentenced to spend two hours in the stocks for kissing his wife in public on Sunday, the day he returned from three years at sea. Abigail Van Buren says at the top of her list of the ten most common problems she sees in "Dear Abby" letters is: "My wife doesn't understand me." The "Four D's of marriage" according to author Fay Angus, are "depression, despair, drink and divorce." - Fay Angus You may win the argument, but if there's blood on the floor, you lose anyway. - Anon If you treat your wife like a thoroughbred, you'll never end up with a nag. - Zig Ziglar Commuter to seatmate: "Actually, my mother-in-law and I have a lot in common. We both wish my wife had married someone else." - H. Bosch in National Enquirer Barr's comment on domestic tranquillity (Donald Barr), "On a beautiful day like today, it's hard to believe anyone can be unhappy, but we'll work on it. - From The Official Rules It was very good of God to let Carlyle and Mrs. Carlyle marry one another and so make only 2 people miserable instead of 4. - Samuel Butler, of Thomas Carlyle, in the Book of Insults, Ancient and Modern, by Nancy McPhee Many girls marry men just like their fathers, which may explain why many mothers cry at weddings. Who Makes the Decisions?

Who is responsible for what decisions around the home? A USA Today survey asked 4500 men and women.

The answers: Women are responsible for deciding what's for dinner and then preparing it, managing the household budget, raising the children. Men and women share the responsibilities for deciding where to go on vacation, how much to spend on major purchases, how much insurance to carry and where to buy it. Men are responsible for deciding what to watch on television.