Blessed Is the Father Who Fears the Lord
I read recently about a father who passed by his son's bedroom and was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, ''Dad''. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter.
''Dear Dad, It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice -- even with all her piercing and her tattoos. But it's not only the passion dad, she's pregnant and Joan said that we will be very happy. I know you don't care for her as she is so much older than I. But, she already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. She wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Joan taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with her friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!!''
''Don't worry Dad, I'm 16 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren. Your son, John''
PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.''
A census taker was working in the hills of Arkansas. He walked up to one shed where a woman was sitting on the step. After introducing himself, the census taker said, ''How many children do you have?'' The woman answered, ''Fo'.''
The census taker then asked, ''May I have their na ...
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