Don't Forget To Take Your Spouse Along (5 of 10) by Jeff Strite

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Don't Forget To Take Your Spouse Along (5 of 10)
Series: This World Is Not My Home
Jeff Strite
1 Peter 3:1-7

OPEN: A desperate woman wrote Tech Support:

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as Newspaper 5.0, TV News 3.0 and Basketball Game 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs.
Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?


Desperate Woman


Dear Desperate Woman,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package while Husband 1.0 is an older more reliable operating system. Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2. And don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If those applications work as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, remember, overuse of the above applications can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a decent program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Looks 7.7.


APPLICATION: Obviously that conversation never took place. But I want you to notice something here: There was a problem… this wife was unhappy. The ...

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