The Sheep and Goat Judgment
A cat and a mouse died on the same day and went up to Heaven. At the top they met God and he asked them 'How do you like it so far?' The mouse replied 'It's great, but can I get a pair of roller skates?' God said 'Sure', and he gave him a pair of roller skates. The next day God saw the cat and asked him 'How do you like it up here so far?' and the cat replied 'Great, I didn't know you had meals on wheels up here!'
I've been thinking about how thin my hair is getting up here. Two Sundays ago, we were up at Community Baptist Church for a singing, and I had not seen many of those people in a long time. One lady came up to me as Wanda and I were eating pizza after the singing, and she said, "Hello Preacher, how are you doing? It is so good to see you." And then she looked at my wife Wanda and said, "Is that your daughter?" Oh me, I could have sunk down in that chair! Amen! Now Wanda really got a kick out of that! I read something funny this week that relates to that!
As Bill was approaching mid-life, physically he was a mess. Not only was he going bald, but years of office work had given him a large pot belly. The last straw came when he asked a woman co-worker out on a date, and she all but laughed at him. That does it, he decided. I'm going to start a whole new regimen. He began attending aerobics classes. He started working out with weights. He changed his diet. And he got an expensive hair transplant. In six months, he was a different man. Again, he asked his female co-worker out, and this time she accepted.
There he was, all dressed up for the date, looking better than he ever had. He stood poised to ring the woman's doorbell, when a bolt of lightning struck him and knocked him off his feet. As he lay there dying, he turned his eyes toward the heavens and said, "Why, God, why now? After all I've been through, how could you do this to me?" From up above, there came a voice, "So ...
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