Authority and Obedience
A preacher, who shall we say was "humor impaired," attended a conference to help encourage and better equip pastors for their ministry. Among the speakers were many well known and dynamic speakers.
One such boldly approached the pulpit and, gathering the entire crowd's attention, said, "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman that wasn't my wife!" The crowd was shocked! He followed up by saying, "And that woman was my mother!" - The crowd burst into laughter and delivered the rest of his talk, which went over quite well.
The next week, the pastor decided he'd give this humor thing a try, and use that joke in his sermon. As he surely approached the pulpit that sunny Sunday, he tried to rehearse the joke in his head. It suddenly seemed a bit foggy to him.
Getting to the microphone he said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of another woman that was not my wife!" The congregation inhaled half the air in the room. After standing there for almost 10 seconds in the stunned silence, trying to recall the second half of the joke, the pastor finally blurted out, "...and I can't remember who she was!"
A little boy wanted 100 dollars badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the money. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, they decided to send it to the President
The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a 10 dollar bill. The President thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the money and sat down to write a thank-you note to the Lord, which read:
Dear Lord, Thank you very much for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington, and as usual, those jerks deducted 90%. Love, Tommy.
We are in the last week of the earthly ministry of Christ, and it is Wednesday Morning. He will be put on a cross in two days. He has completed His Galilean Ministry, and come through Perea and ministered to the Gentiles. He crossed over the Jordan River at Jericho and healed two blind men, one of whom was blind Bartimaus. He proceeded onward to Jerusalem, and spent the night with Mary, Martha, and Lazarus in Bethany. He came into the City of Jerusalem on Palm Sunday and presented Himself as the long awaited Messiah, and the people, which may have numbered over two million praise Him with Hosannas and throw their clothes in front of Him as an act of homage. They then cut down palm branches and waved them in celebration. The next day, which would have been Monday morning, He goes back into the City of Jerusalem to cleanse the temple and drive out the moneychangers and the seats of those who sold doves. Jesus threw their tables out, and also their ch ...
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