One Simple Rule for Protecting Your Family (2 of 4) by Jeff Strite

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One Simple Rule for Protecting Your Family (2 of 4)
Series: Family Foundations
Jeff Strite
I Kings 11:1-13

OPEN: Before he died, comedian John Ritter starred in a fairly successful TV sitcom. Does anybody remember the name of that show? (8 Simple Rules For Dating My Daughter).
Now, I never watched that show, so I don't know if they ever shared what those "8 simple rules" actually were. However, years ago I received an e-mail that listed another father's rules for dating his daughter. I was so impressed with the list, that I copied it into my files and I believe that when my own daughter gets to the age when we allow her to date (somewhere around the age of 25 or so), I will print it out to share with whatever boy dares (I mean, "wants") to go out with her:

Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose a compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not come off at some time during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about s ...

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