This content is part of a series.
How's Your Love Life? (4 of 6)
Well, a few years ago, there was a commercial out. Actually, it was more than a few years ago. It was when I was a kid. And I would watch TV, and I would see this commercial, and it was for Ultra Bright Toothpaste. And I don't even know if they make Ultra Bright Toothpaste anymore. But this was for Ultra Bright Toothpaste. And they would show a beautiful girl who had a beautiful, white smile. And the tag line of this commercial was, ''So how's your love life?'' And the implication in that Ultra Bright commercial was, you know, if your love life's not very good, it's probably because you're not brushing with Ultra Bright. You know, if you brushed with Ultra Bright, man, you'd have dates, you'd have an ultra good smile, you'd have ultra love you'd have an ultra good-looking someone. It's all about Ultra Bright. But, that question, how's your love life? Now we think about our love life, especially around Valentine's Day. And some people say, ''Man, my love life is good,'' and others say, ''My love life is non-existent,'' or, ''it's just not very good.'' Some married people, love life not very good. I heard about one couple. They had been married a while. Things weren't going so good. They were hitting on hard financial times. The wife was arrested for shoplifting. She went before the judge there with her husband. And the judge says to her, ''You are arrested for shoplifting.'' He said, ''Tell me about it.'' She said, ''I stole a can of peaches.'' He said, ''Well, why did you steal a can of peaches?'' She said, ''I was hungry.'' He said, ''How many peaches were in the can?'' She said, ''Six.'' He said, ''Six peaches - that's six days in jail.'' And before he could rap his gavel, the husband stood and said, ''Your Honor, I've got something to say.'' He said, ''What's that?'' ''She also stole a can of peas!'' (laughter). It wasn't going well in their marriage. Their love life wasn't so gr ...
There are 38372 characters in the full content. This excerpt only shows a 2000 character sample of the full content.