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His Needs, Her Needs (8 of 10)
Series: Covenant Marriage
Dr. Fred Lowry
When I am preaching on marriage I always have men say to me you are too hard on men. The reason is that we need it. But one of these Sundays I am going to be harder on the women. I am waiting until Leigh's out of town and my girls aren't here. And we will do a special sermon especially harder on women. Little boy asked his Dad, is it true in some parts of Africa that men do not know their wives until they man-y. The Dad said Son, that is true in most countries. Man put an ad in the paper saying Wife Wanted. He got a hundred letters back saying you can have mine! There are two things necessary to keep one's wife happy; 1) Let her think she is having her own way; 2) Let her have it. Married men live longer than single men. We know that. But married men are lot more willing to die. Just a little piece. We are all needy people. The wife has needs, the husband has needs. We all struggle when needs go unmet for long periods of time. We start thinking this isn't right. This isn't fair. And start looking for support someone to talk to; someone to listen to us; someone who cares enough to hear us out. Every broken covenant, every divorce is the result of someone's needs not being met. Dr. William Harley says in twenty five years experience of counseling couples I have been taught one undeniable truth, if any of the spouse's five basic needs go unmet that spouse is vulnerable to an affair. So a ma or stumbling block. We are talking about building long term marriages, going the distance, covenant marriage. One of the stumbling blocks is the failure to meet the spouse's needs. From the spouse's point of view. Not from your own point of view. Marriage conflict is framed in one of two ways, 1) Couples fall to make each other happy - that is unintentional; that is involving needs; failing to care; failing to listen. 2) Couples make each other unhappy. It is intentional. So what we are doing this morni ...
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