Bring the Children (6 of 6) by Roger Thomas
This content is part of a series.Bring the Children (6 of 6)
Series: Family Matters
Life would be a lot duller without small children around. Neater, maybe; but certainly duller! I can testify to that personally since we have had our six-year-old granddaughter with us for a week. Having small children around can be an educational experience as well. For example-
Consider the top ten things you might not know if you didn't have children under ten years of age around the house. I must first offer a disclaimer. For those who already have children past this age, this list is hilarious. For those who have children this age, this is not one bit funny. For those who have children nearing this age, consider this a warning. For those who have not yet had children, this may be reason enough not to. Just kidding!
10. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 square foot house 4 inches deep.
9. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.
8. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water. 8B. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
7. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
6. VCR's do not eject PBandJ sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
5. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a superman cape. It is strong enough; however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20-foot room.
4. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. 4B. It will, however, make cats dizzy. 4C. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
3. Certain LEGOs will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year-old.
2. A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
1. And the number one thing I wouldn't know if I didn't have a child under ten year of age: When you hear the toilet flush and the words ''Uh-oh,'' it's already t ...
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