EXCUSES FOR MISSING SUPPER
1. A GLORIOUS INVITATION
A) The Preparation Of The Supper
B) The Proclamation Of The Supper
2. A GRIEVOUS REJECTION
A) How Surprising Their Response
B) How Silly Their Reasons
C) How Serious Their Refusal
3. A GRACIOUS EXTENSION
A) Open Invitation
B) Opportunistic Invitation
Excuses are something we hear everyday. There is even a web page dedicated to providing excuses for every occasion. The main page reads, "You'll find here every excuse you'll ever need, from down right lies, to plausible reasons why you did, or didn't do whatever it was you were supposed to, or not!" The website provides excuses for being caught lying, being late, being overdrawn in your checking account, for calling off a wedding, forgetting, and a score of other things. They even have the category that provides excuses for not giving to charity (I'll not share any of their suggestions for some of you may decide to try them out.) The page contains a "Daily Excuse." The daily excuse I saw on the page a couple of days ago was, "I did take the garbage out ... I guess the dog must have brought it back in again."1
>From the Albuquerque Public School System, here are a few of the actual written excuses given by parents of children (actual spelling included):
* My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.
* Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot. 3. Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
* Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
* John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
* Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
* Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
* (My favor ...
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