God, Can I Ever Recover from My Past? (3 of 5) by Ed Rowell

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God, Can I Ever Recover from My Past? (3 of 5)
If I Could Ask God One Question
Ed Rowell
Ephesians 5:17, 1 John 2:15-17, Hebrews 10:35-36
May 7, 2000

A woman I'll call "Carol" was an attractive, sweet woman who loved animals and kids. She served her church in loving ways behind the scenes for many years. Her husband was a leader in the church and the community. You could have known Carol for years and never dreamed that she had an addiction to prescription drugs and that she awakened almost every night of her life with terrifying nightmares. Her days were filled with fear, guilt, shame, and remorse. Although she hid it well from most, Carol was shackled to her past because of a dark secret of events that had happened over 40 years ago.

When she was a junior in high school, on her very first date, she was brutally raped by the boy she had a crush on and his two friends. When she went home and told her parents what had happened, instead of calling the police or going after the boys himself, her alcoholic father called her a tramp and kicked her out of their home.

An aunt took her in and tried to help her deal with her trauma, but within a few months it got worse--Carol discovered she was pregnant as a result of the rape. This same aunt took her to a doctor in another town who had a thriving back-door-after-hours abortion business. Within an hour, her pregnancy was conveniently terminated, but her emotional pain would last a lifetime.

She vacillated between believing everything bad in her life was a punishment from God, and feeling guilty that she did not deserve all the blessings God had brought into her life. Life has never moved beyond the painful events of 1957 for Carol.

A man I'll call "Brett" is a much sought after consultant in the telecommunications industry. He has all the trappings of success, including his own plane, and is usually seen in public with one of several beautiful young women on his arm. You'd never guess that he is a semin ...


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