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Self: The Fellowship That Lasts a Lifetime (2 of 6)
Dr. J. Gerald Harris
It has been well said that for a person to be a whole person, a happy person, a holy person, a healthy- minded person, a person who is at peace with himself and at peace with others and at peace with God, he needs three basic things. He needs significance; he needs to feel that he counts for something. But then he also needs sufficiency; he needs to know that his needs are being met. Then he needs security - that is, to know that that significance and that sufficiency can never be taken from him.
Any man, woman, boy or girl on the face of this earth who has those three things - significance, sufficiency and security - is blessed indeed.
Now, let me tell you what the devil is going to try to do. He is going to try to destroy your self esteem in one of four ways. By the way, these four ways are outlined in Robert McGee's book entitled "The Search For Significance." McGee says first of all, you've got to avoid the performance trap. The devil will tell you that you must be successful in order to be fulfilled and happy. And so we have tried to measure up; we try to meet certain standards in order to feel good about ourselves. And those who get caught in the performance trap constantly live in the fear that they will fail.
And then McGee says there are approval addicts. Now, this is when I feel that I must be approved or accepted by certain individuals in order to feel good about myself. When Martha Jean and I first got married, I really wanted her approval concerning my preaching. We would go home from church on Sunday and I would wait for her to make some comment about the sermon. And if she didn't say anything on the way home, or if she didn't say anything during lunch, I would ask her how she felt about the sermon. And if she was reluctant about complimenting the sermon, I was devastated.
And so if the person who is caught in the performance trap lives in constan ...
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