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Making Love or Loving (4 of 6)
Series: Real Men
I Corinthians 7:3-5
Real men know the difference between making love and loving. First
Corinthians 7, verse 3,
Let the husband fulfill his duty to his wife, and
likewise also the wife to her husband.
The wife does not have authority over her own
body, but the husband does; and likewise also the
husband does not have authority over his own body,
but the wife does.
Stop depriving one another, except by agreement
for a time that you may devote yourselves to
prayer, and come together again lest Satan tempt
you because of your lack of self-control.
Through the last twenty-five years of pastoring I have counseled quite
a bit. I have heard many women say, "My husband doesn't understand
me. He doesn't know how to relate to me physically, and we have a
problem." They share their particular problems and we try to help
them, knowing that many times, if the husband would come in it would
be much easier, but many men refuse to come, and it takes two. The
wife wants to be responsive and wants to do the right thing, but
because the husband doesn't understand, they continue to have
Some of this is caused because of some distortion in our historic
Christian perspective. For instance, Augustine, the great theologian
said the only cause for a man and woman to have a physical
relationship is to have children, and that is is not for pleasure.
Peter Lombard said, "Whenever a husband and wife share in a
relationship physically, the Holy Spirit-leaves the room." one church
said that on holy days and special occasions you were to abstain from
any relationship at all.
Now, that's not biblical, but millions practiced it and we had a
distorted view of what the Bible really teaches, and some of it came
from our own Christian heritage.
In the Victorian era, they were so prudish about it that there was a
feeling that sex was dirty and a woman was not to enjoy the physical
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