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Making Love or Loving (4 of 6)
Series: Real Men
I Corinthians 7:3-5
Real men know the difference between making love and loving. First Corinthians 7, verse 3,
Let the husband fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the
husband does not have authority over his own body,but the wife does. Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again lest Satan tempt you because of your lack of self-control. Through the last twenty-five years of pastoring I have counseled quite a bit. I have heard many women say, "My husband doesn't understand me. He doesn't know how to relate to me physically, and we have a problem." They share their particular problems and we try to help them, knowing that many times, if the husband would come in it would be much easier, but many men refuse to come, and it takes two. The wife wants to be responsive and wants to do the right thing, but because the husband doesn't understand, they continue to have problems.
Some of this is caused because of some distortion in our historic Christian perspective. For instance, Augustine, the great theologian said the only cause for a man and woman to have a physical relationship is to have children, and that it is not for pleasure. Peter Lombard said, "Whenever a husband and wife share in a relationship physically, the Holy Spirit-leaves the room." one church said that on holy days and special occasions you were to abstain from
any relationship at all. Now, that's not biblical, but millions practiced it and we had a distorted view of what the Bible really teaches, and some of it came from our own Christian heritage.
In the Victorian era, they were so prudish about it that there was a feeling that sex was dirty and a woman was not to enjoy the physical relationship; she was to simply endure it ...
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