Truth or Consequences
Four Fatal Fibs
Illus. 1. This past week as my wife and I were heading to a conference in the San
Bernardino Mountains we stopped at a gas station for directions to the conference
grounds. Everything was fine with the directions until the guy said, "don't worry, you
can't miss it." As soon as I heard that phrase, "you can't miss it" sirens went off in my
head, lights started flashing." And I was saying to myself, "I doubt it, I really don't
believe you." So i began to- look for a second- opinio. - When -someone comes up
to me and hey have that confrontive look in their eye and they say, "Ron, I have
something to say to you, and this hurt is going to hurt me more than it hurts you-." The
sirens go off, the internal lights start flashing and I say to myself, "I doubt that, I don't
There are certain well worn phrases that set off our truth detectors in our head.
Certain phrases that trigger our built in truth sensors and we immediately begin to say
to ourselves - I doubt that - I don't think so. What are some of yours? Maybe:
1. I'm from the IRS and I'm here to help you
2. You walk in the dentist's office, he's armed with an arsenal of offe-tsive
weapons and he says, "You won't feel a thing."
3. The check i& in the mail.
4. John Elway is going to be healthy for the whole season.
Or, as people sit in my office and tell me,
1. There's nothing wrong with my marriage
2. 1 don't have a su stance abuse problem
3. Or, I have a perfectly normal relationship
. .. when I sense signals to the contrary.
The instance we hear particular phrases, sIrens begin to scream and lights - to
flash, and that little voice inside our head stys, "the probability of a lie is -
high right now. There is an early warning signal tha detonates saying, "watch off, tbe
This is healthy, it is necessary. We need to have some healthy private conversations
with ourselves about the warnings we sense.
All of u ...
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