1. The law of volunteering: If you dance with a grizzly bear, you better let him lead.
2. The law of avoiding oversell: When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.
3. The know-its-time-to-quit law: The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets
4. The law of common sense: Never accept a drink from a urologist
5. The first law of reality: There are days when no matter which way you spit, it is upwind
6. The second law of reality: When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.
7. The third law of reality: Whatever it is that hits the fan, it will not be distributed equally.
8. The fourth law of reality: Never get into fights with ugly people. They have nothing to lose.
9. The fifth law of reality: Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster.
10. The law of goal-setting: Reality is a crutch for those who cannot cope with fantasy.
11. The law of escape: When you are in a hole, stop digging.
12. The law of vision: The higher you climb, the further you can see, but the view gets fuzzier.
13. The sixth law of reality: You'll never win a pissing contest with a skunk.