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Laws of Household Physics

Jo Houser Haring, Notes on the Refrigerator Door (Tincup Press), quoted in Reader's Digest

Laws of Household Physics

Ever notice that the laws of household physics are every bit as real as all other laws of the universe? Here are a few examples:

1. A child's eagerness to assist in any project varies in inverse proportion to his ability to actually do the work involved.

2. Leftovers always expand to fill all available containers plus one.

3. A newly-washed window gathers dirt at double the speed of an unwashed window.

4. The availability of a ballpoint pen in inversely proportional to how badly it is needed.

5. The same clutter that will fill a one-car garage will fill a two-car garage.

6. Three children plus two cookies equals a fight.

7. The potential for disaster is in direct proportion to the number of TV remote-controls divided by the number of viewers.

8. The number of doors left open varies inversely with the outdoor temperature.

9. The capacity of any hot-water heater is equal to one and one-half sibling showers.

10. What goes up must come down, except bubble gum and slightly used Rice Krispies.