Thought I'd let my doctor check me
Cause I didn't feel quite right
All those aches and pains annoyed me
And I couldn't get to sleep at night.
He could find no real disorder
But he couldn't let me rest
What with Medicare and Blue Cross
It wouldn't hurt to do some tests.
To the hospital he sent me
Though I didn't feel that bad
He arranged for them to give me
Every test that could be had.
I was flouroscoped and cystoscoped
My aging frame displayed,
Stripped upon an ice cold table
While my gizzards were X-rayed.
I was checked for worms and parasites
For fungus and the Crud
While they pierced me with long needles
Taking samples of my blood.
Doctors came to check me over
Prodded and pushed and poked around,
And to make sure that I was living
They wired me up for sound.
They have finally concluded:
(Their results have filled a page)
What I have will someday kill me,
My affliction is .....Old Age.