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How to Know You're Getting Older

Strengthening Our Grip, C. Swindoll, p. 128

Everything hurts! and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work! You feel like the night before, and you haven't been anywhere! You sit in a rocking chair and you can't get it going! Your knees buckle and your belt won't! Dialing long distance wears you out! Your fortune teller offers to read your face! The little gray haired lady you help across the street is your wife! You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there! You wake up in the morning and your water bed has sprung a leak, and you realize you don't have a water bed! When you watch a pretty girl go by, your pace-maker makes the garage door go up! When you know all the answers, and no one asks you the questions! When you decide to procrastinate, but never get around to it!